Light & Darkness
Welcome back!
One day, I woke up at 5 am.
It was still dark outside. And I couldn't go back to sleep.
I drank some water, stretched a bit, and started writing the draft of this lesson.
In this lesson, we'll discuss an overlooked aspect of what makes you, you.
Here are 3 things for you to take away from this lesson:
Light
Darkness
A proposal
Light
Even if you think your kids wouldn't know, I would argue that they can see through your heart no matter who you are trying to become.
There is nothing you can hide from them, or to frame this differently, you have nothing to hide.
We are humans, and we are not perfect.
Let's start with the good stuff.
If you look inward, all the best ingredients are already inside of you.
Love, gratitude, forgiveness, honesty, courage, compassion, self-awareness, and integrity.
How do you feel when you see these words?
I bet you don't often associate yourself with these virtues that sound too good to be true. But since the first day of your life, these values have already been there.
They are part of us. They are the light in our soul that gives us the energy we need. And we are in control of passing them on to our kids.
Don't forget that.
Be a role model to uphold these values that will build the foundation of our lives. There is no shortcut to raising a self-loving child who also cares about the people and the world with the light that guides us through the darkness.
Darkness
There is light, and there is darkness.
If we dig deep enough into our souls, we can notice things are pretty raw down there.
It’s okay to be afraid of our dark sides.
I can easily feel my fear, envy, and anger.
Darkness can yield unbounded energy, yet they are formless and violent.
The first thing I learned about darkness is to accept it all.
It’s okay to be afraid. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel that bitterness inside you when you can't help but compare yourself with others who have more than you.
But it’s more important to recognize that dark cave inside you.
Joseph Campbell once said, "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."
This is the only way to get through the darkness.
A Proposal
The more you accept who you are, the better Dad you will become.
Now, let's talk about a proposal for you. This is an actionable item for you in the coming week.
Putting yourself in the same situations where you feel the light and the darkness in you.
Recall the moments when you feel the light, warmth, and all the good stuff with your children.
Recall the moments when you feel the darkness, anger, and all the bad stuff with your children.
Now you know what they are like for you.
The next time these same feelings arrive, don't turn your back on them. They are the caves that hold the treasures you seek.
Seize the moments and embrace them. Once you start building this muscle to accept who you are and what is inside of you, this journey as a Dad will start to become easier and easier.
See you in the next lesson.
Franco